ALL CRAPPY GIFTS

Archie McPhee Bacon Strips Bandages

Finally, a bandage that announces to the whole break room that you did not actually injure yourself — you just really wanted a strip of fake bacon stuck to your finger. Each collectible tin holds a stash of genuine self-adhesive bandages printed to look exactly like sizzling strips of bacon, because beige first-aid supplies simply weren't humiliating enough. Slap one over a paper cut and let your coworkers spend the rest of the meeting wondering if you're wounded or just peckish. Not endorsed by any actual breakfast association, but fully endorsed by anyone who thinks the First Aid aisle needed more pork products.