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Giant Googly Eyes - Set of 2, 7" Diameter
Turn any object into a nervous wreck. No practical use whatsoever, which is exactly the point.
Mini Inflatable Tube Guy
The wacky waving inflatable arm-flailing tube man, now small enough to flail directly at your face.
Screaming Goat Novelty Toy
Press the button, hear a goat question its life choices. Somehow this became a whole genre of gift.
Emergency Underpants
For when things go catastrophically, unexpectedly wrong. Comes in its own tiny emergency tin.
BS Button
A big red button whose sole function is calling bulls**t on whoever's talking. Career-limiting in most offices.
Willy Warmer Novelty Knit
Because somewhere out there, someone's most sensitive area was cold and nobody asked why this was the solution.
Gears Out Gift of Emptiness Prank Box
A lavishly wrapped, suspiciously lightweight gift box that promises everything and delivers precisely nothing. Lift the lid and admire the void — expertly packaged with premium tissue paper so the disappointment reads as intentional. Ideal for the relative who insists they 'don't need anything,' because now, provably, they have received it. No batteries, assembly, or actual object of any kind required.