ALL CRAPPY GIFTS
Browse our complete collection of hilariously terrible gifts. From useless gadgets to weird pet accessories — we've got it all!
WHAT DO YOU MEME? Emotional Support Fries Plush Set
A plush carton of five fake French fries, deployed solely to be hugged when real emotional support is too expensive or too far away. Comes with its own tiny carrying basket, because nothing says 'I have it together' like toting a basket of stuffed potatoes into a meeting. It will not lower your cortisol, does not pair with ketchup, and will absolutely confuse your dog.
Nestpark Muttboro Doggy Cigs Plush Dog Toy
Three felt cigarettes zipped into a faux soft-pack, because the one thing your dog's enrichment routine was missing is a two-pack-a-day habit. Each "cig" squeaks, crinkles, and hides a treat inside the burrow pouch, so Fido can root around for kibble like he's patting himself down for a lighter. It will not get your dog addicted to nicotine. It will, however, guarantee that the first thing houseguests see on your living room floor is a chew toy shaped like a Marlboro. Bold branding choice for a Tuesday.
Pee & Poo Plush Set – Scandinavian Design Novelty Duo
In 2004 a Swedish designer looked at human waste and thought, "this deserves plush representation," and so Pee and Poo were born: a lumpy yellow puddle with a face and a smiling brown swirl, sold as a matched set for people who have run out of normal things to put on a shelf. They are marketed, with a straight face, as 'potty training inspiration' and 'collectible desk decor,' which is the same trick as calling a whoopee cushion 'percussive furniture.' There is no plot. There is no joke beyond the initial premise. You will buy this, place it on your desk, and field the same conversation with every single visitor for the rest of your natural life. Scandinavian minimalism has never been this committed to a bit.