ALL CRAPPY GIFTS
Browse our complete collection of hilariously terrible gifts. From useless gadgets to weird pet accessories — we've got it all!
Pirate Corkscrew
A tiny pirate whose only purpose in life is opening your wine. Arr, the existential dread.
Willy Warmer Novelty Knit
Because somewhere out there, someone's most sensitive area was cold and nobody asked why this was the solution.
Banana-Scented Lip Balm
Smells like banana, tastes like regret, works fine as lip balm honestly.
Archie McPhee Yodeling Pickle
A five-inch rubber pickle that, at the press of a button, launches into a full, warbling yodel — because nothing says 'I was thinking of you' quite like gifting someone a vegetable with more vocal range than most touring musicians. It does not slice, brine, or garnish anything. It has exactly one function, and that function is yodeling, on command, indefinitely, until the AAA batteries or the recipient's patience gives out first. Ideal for office desks, family cabins, and any relationship that could use a little more sudden, inexplicable alarm.