ALL CRAPPY GIFTS

Outlaw Unicorn Poop Soap

A single bar of handmade soap engineered to smell like the fever dream of a rainbow sherbet birthday cake, marketed under a name that guarantees at least one family member will refuse to touch it. Swirled with glitter that will relocate to your bathroom grout for the rest of your natural life, it is billed as the excrement of a mythical horse and somehow still outsells soap that doesn't claim to be feces. Buy it for someone you love, watch them Google "is this actually poop" before they read the label.