ALL CRAPPY GIFTS
Browse our complete collection of hilariously terrible gifts. From useless gadgets to weird pet accessories — we've got it all!
Archie McPhee Inflatable Unicorn Horn for Cats
Your cat did not ask to be a unicorn. Your cat does not want to be a unicorn. None of that matters once this 5.5-inch vinyl horn is strapped to its skull via a four-point elastic harness that it will spend the next ninety seconds trying to remove with increasingly violent head shakes. For one glorious photo before the inevitable, your ordinary housecat becomes a majestic, horned beast of legend — or, more accurately, a visibly furious animal wearing a party hat shaped like an ice cream cone. Durable enough to survive shipping, not durable enough to survive contact with a scratching post. A gift for the kind of person who views their pet's dignity as a renewable resource.
Outlaw Unicorn Poop Soap
A single bar of handmade soap engineered to smell like the fever dream of a rainbow sherbet birthday cake, marketed under a name that guarantees at least one family member will refuse to touch it. Swirled with glitter that will relocate to your bathroom grout for the rest of your natural life, it is billed as the excrement of a mythical horse and somehow still outsells soap that doesn't claim to be feces. Buy it for someone you love, watch them Google "is this actually poop" before they read the label.