ALL CRAPPY GIFTS
Browse our complete collection of hilariously terrible gifts. From useless gadgets to weird pet accessories — we've got it all!
Archie McPhee Bigfoot Back Scratcher
Cryptozoology meets personal hygiene. This telescoping back scratcher extends from a modest 7-7/8" to a full 22" so you can finally reach that one unreachable itch between your shoulder blades, using the authentic-ish plastic foot of a creature that, as far as science is aware, does not exist. The stainless steel shaft has the structural integrity of a real backscratcher and the emotional resonance of a cryptid sighting. Bigfoot has spent decades evading trail cameras; the least he can do is scratch your back.
Outlaw Unicorn Poop Soap
A single bar of handmade soap engineered to smell like the fever dream of a rainbow sherbet birthday cake, marketed under a name that guarantees at least one family member will refuse to touch it. Swirled with glitter that will relocate to your bathroom grout for the rest of your natural life, it is billed as the excrement of a mythical horse and somehow still outsells soap that doesn't claim to be feces. Buy it for someone you love, watch them Google "is this actually poop" before they read the label.
Banana-Scented Lip Balm
Smells like banana, tastes like regret, works fine as lip balm honestly.