ALL CRAPPY GIFTS

Frienda Humping Dog Phone Charging Cable

Somewhere in a product design meeting, someone asked "what if a charging cable, but it also thrusts?" and instead of being escorted from the building, they were given a manufacturing budget. This Type-C cable comes with a small plastic dog affixed to the middle of the cord, and the moment you plug it in, the dog begins rhythmically humping the cable in a way no one asked for and everyone will notice. It still technically charges your phone, which is the closest thing to a redeeming feature it has. Marketed cheerfully as a "novelty gift" for back-to-school season, which is one way to describe handing a teenager a thrusting dog accessory for their phone. Whether the motion helps or hinders the actual data transfer speed is a mystery science will have to solve without our help.