ALL CRAPPY GIFTS

Demeter Dirt Cologne Spray

A real, shelf-stable fragrance whose entire creative brief was apparently 'bottle the smell of a Pennsylvania field after it rains.' Top notes of damp soil, a whisper of corn stalk, and the unmistakable aroma of having given up on smelling like a person. Spritz it on before a date, a job interview, or a long elevator ride, and watch everyone around you quietly reassess their life choices. It has been on the market since 2012, which means somewhere out there, people keep buying more of it on purpose.