ALL CRAPPY GIFTS

Eddingtons Egg Cuber

Nature spent millions of years perfecting the egg's aerodynamic, space-efficient, shell-stackable oval shape. This device exists specifically to undo that. Hard-boil an egg, peel it while it's still too hot to touch, wedge it into a screw-press chamber, and refrigerate it until it forcibly relaxes into a cube. The result is an egg that no longer rolls, no longer looks like an egg, and no longer fits in an egg cup. It does, however, sit very flatly on a sandwich, which is presumably the whole point, if there is one. Comes in a cheerful color so you remember why you bought it.